It was a clouded and drizzly day when we walked in to the four story dark-mirrored glass building. “9432 Burzynski Clinic” in half a story high raised white lettering written across the top. Landscaped and finely manicured surrounding gardens with the occasional bench here and there; impressive was my first impression. That continued with just about everything, from the level of care that we received, to the exit plan packets with all our records and a set of standing orders for the doctor we were to find to continue our Burzynski protocol. I always hear the Dr. Burzynski’s critics say how expensive it is, and believe me it had my head in a hive on the very first day, which has also continued, and probably will for some time. But in comparison, let’s say if chemotherapy and radiation were not covered by insurance...I couldn’t even imagine what the Pharma corps are hosing the insurance companies for those drugs, and guess who those guys hose? So when you look at it that way, or this, it’s still a ton of dough and it has to be paid. Judging from Dr. Burzynski’s track record and what I’ve seen at the clinic, I’m just glad I found him.
We were there for three weeks over the holidays and had a quiet but good time. I’m a Jew and my wife is a Buddhist, so Christmas hasn’t ever been high on the radar. Ha knew this guy that used to work with her in Vietnam and now lives in Houston with his wife. Tim and Lana, super great couple, were very caring and couldn’t do enough for us. They were really fun and funny; they absolutely loved this one buffet style Vietnamese restaurant they took us to, Kim Son. Lana explained how you have to have a plan of attack to successfully eat a mountain of food. Lana is a small slender woman, and Tim is no giant nor is he fat. Over the course of two hours, after Ha and I were done and done in the first forty-five or so minutes, Lana and Tim were just starting their first of three dessert courses. When I complimented them on their plan, they said, “Yes, yes, thank you, but no to go, understand? Have to eat here, everything, eat here!” Then we all started laughing. Good times.
Times like that help me out tremendously because symptomatically there’s just so much to deal with all the time. Usually Ha and I walk for a half an hour to forty-five minutes daily. My mind feels fairly clear and I’m able to converse coherently. I’m able to feel grateful for having another day filled with moments. If I sit down and try to read, write, anything really, I have a tendency to drift but can usually get a few things done. Then as the day passes noon I slowly start to become cancer’s marionette, and the disease is the manipulator of a vast legion of wires. But the one wire I can never let it have control over is the one wrapped around my soul. All the other wires are meant to weaken the one. The soul wire. When I realized that cancer is a fight for my soul I started to understand how people give in and it is not the easier or harder way it is just the other way. Both wires may be garrotes.
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