#35 A Fig Newton For Lunch? ...Anyone?

A Fig Newton, as in one, was what I had for lunch the other day.  We keep a box of those two to a pack Newtons in the car; emergency food.  They are a bit bigger than the regular size cookies, but still.  I miss being able to eat, or should I say my soul misses being able to enjoy lots of tasty things I can make.  I still make 'em but I'm forced into a premature reign pull.  Drats, wrapped in foil again.  When it comes down to it my body is just a four stage food processor, in-digest-glean energy-out, but when there's a problem with any of those steps, well then it's a problem that needs to be dealt with and the intake stage is where it starts.  Living with cancer is still better than the alternative.  All right, that's my moan this time.

I had two more medical Qigong sessions with Vadim, and have been working on the exercises he gave me diligently. He also added two more exercises.  Some of the more meditative disciplines are difficult especially because I had to go back on the Lasix cuz my legs and feet are getting a little Pillsbury, and the Lasix makes me Lunchable (I should get some sorta subsidy for product placement) and I end up tipping a bit.  Tipping over that is.  But nonetheless I refocus and am learning how to cleanse and nourish my Qi, and distribute it to where there is blockage.  The exercises are difficult and I don't know yet if I'm making any progress.  What I do know is that when Vadim does the actual medical qigong treatment it's been getting more intense.

At Sunday's session, with my eyes closed, going from deeply relaxed states of consciousness to semi-hallucinatory sleepless dreams, I discernibly felt, as clear as if I were holding it in my hand, the tumor, my tumor, rise up and hover just under the skin.  Then it suddenly dropped, like a swiftly severed Dragon's head, black steamy smoke spouting.  I wanted to open my eyes and see where Vadim was but I couldn't.  I don't know how long he worked on me, but my wife said about forty-five minutes.  When it was over I opened my eyes but couldn't really move, my mind kept shuffling my thoughts around and around like a Vegas blackjack dealer with serious OCD.

I was dizzy and unsteady but made it off the table and in to the chair.  When I was finally able to talk about the tumor thing with my wife and Vadim I was in tears.  I can still feel the tumor in there but something has changed; in my head and with the tumor, only time and an MRI will tell what really happened.  I am seeing my oncologist on the fifteenth, preceded by blood-work, so maybe there will be something there.  To me this is progress, a positive result of the path chosen, and it rewards me with the kind of energy I need to devote as much I can to the exercises.

The past week was good, aside from the everyday cancer reminders, nothing drastic or overwhelming.  Mumsy came for a couple of days and surprised me with an early birthday gift. It is a magnificent, brushed stainless steel, two banger Belgian waffle maker!  The feature attraction of this particular model is the side handle which enables one to flip both waffles, in the maker, over after the batter goes in. Which any true waffle aficionado knows will evenly distribute the batter creating a nice tall and even Belgian waffle.  Nice going old gal, you know your son!

The weekend with my wife was great, as usual, kicked off Saturday with acupuncture by Christy for the both of us, some shopping, cooking, relaxing and a beautiful trail walk on Sunday.  I kinda spaced out doing the blog on Sunday, it's begun to feel somewhat like a self-imposed chore.  So I'm just gonna blog when I want.  I'll try to do it once a week minimum and if something momentous happens, why I'll just blog it on out right then and there!

Sokie-Dokie?